


Power

by Farosh



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (Comics), The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Explicit Language, F/M, Negan (Walking Dead) Being an Asshole, Negan (Walking Dead) Swears, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-02-13 08:04:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12979701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Farosh/pseuds/Farosh
Summary: Emily's peace has been ripped from her. Will the man that stole it away change her?





	1. Thief

**Author's Note:**

> Please note that my Negan is not a very nice one, although he thinks he is. I'm trying not to be OOC, please let me know if I am! This will be a roller coaster of emotions that I hope you'll be able to feel, too.

There were no good people left in the world. Once everything fell apart at the hands of the walking dead, people changed. The ones who couldn’t died, or they would eventually. Everyone else encased themselves in cautiousness and survival instinct. They could still love, and fight to protect others, but they would never again be who they once were. Some even found that they were always twisted, ready to kill, and finally unleashed these hidden emotions when there was nothing to stop them.

Emily had wanted power. She always did, her whole life, and even more so when the dead began to rise. Everything was for the taking, now. People grabbed at the chance to become leaders, to control others. She was the same. Her first group, she did this easily, but they all died long, long ago. She ran from them. Her next few groups she was highly respected. But at the sight of trouble, she ran again. It was a cycle. She never told her new groups much about herself, her story. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered to her anymore. Everything good was dead, and the only thing that gave her some sort of feeling was the pride that came with power.

It was easy to slip out of her last group at the sight of trouble. She left in the night, and she ran. Emily hoped to never see any of them again. Eventually, after about a week, she found a small, run down trailer in the woods. It was on a dirt road that branched from a rural backroad. She hoped it would be enough to be unseen for a while. After all these years, she concealed her want for power and decided to settle by herself. It would be easier this way.

***

The sun in the sky suggested that it was around noon as Emily carved into a kitchen table with her pocket knife. She almost liked the trailer that she found, it was somewhat cozy and quiet. She barely had to dispatch the dead, and only had to provide for herself. As she carved, she pondered the next time she could go out scavenging. Her thoughts halted to a stop when she heard several car engines nearby. Her eyes widened in shock, and she stood up so quickly that her chair went falling to the floor with a loud bang. Her eyes darted around the house, considering where to hide. She heard the cars travelling up the dirt road and sighed. No time for a decent hiding place. Clutching her knife, she ran down into the bedroom and slid herself under the bed. No more people.

Emily gripped her knife with such strength that her knuckles were white as she heard car doors slamming shut. She had left her gun right on the kitchen table like a dumbass. She was no match for whatever people were here, anyways. As muffled voices approached the house, she let out a shaky sigh to try and calm her nerves.

“Does it look like they’ll be much in this old shack?” a man’s voice questioned as they stepped onto the porch.

“Let’s find out, shall we, assholes?” His voice was deep and gravelly, and even though she could barely hear him, Emily could hear confidence ooze from his voice.

The door swung open, and Emily subconsciously held her breath. She had to be quiet. She had no idea if they were here to rest for the night, to stay, or just to scavenge. She hoped it would be to scavenge. That would be the most preferred.

“Somebody’s here.”The same man from before said it so suddenly that Emily’s eyes widened in fear.

“Look; open cans of food, the damn gun sitting right there on the table,” he continued, “and it sure as hell looks like they were in a hurry.” Emily could hear him kick the chair that she had knocked to the floor minutes before.

“See if they’re still here. I wanna have a chat.”

In silent agreement, several sets of feet began walking across the wooden floor as they searched for her. She squeezed her eyes shut, swallowing down her panic. She let out another long sigh, then stared blankly at the underside of the bed. This wouldn’t end well in any scenario, so she accepted it.

It took a few minutes, but the house was small enough. She watched as a pair of combat boots walked into the bedroom, opening a closet before approaching the bed. Her expression was still blank as he peeked under the bed, the man more surprised than she was. He had long blond hair, and a huge scar stretched across half of his face. After a second, the man gave her a smug smile that was more disgusting than his scar.

“Found her, Negan,” he called, getting back up and waiting for Negan to enter. Emily watched several pairs of boots enter the room. Someone slowly walked up to the bed, then crouched down to look at her.

A middle-aged man stared at her, grinning and making wrinkles form around his deep brown eyes. Emily looked him over. His salt-and-pepper beard was well trimmed, and his dark hair was clean and slicked back. He wore a leather jacket with a red scarf sticking out of it. All his clothing was clean. He was well off, and obviously in charge. A group of travelers would not be this clean and prepared, they had a settlement somewhere.

“Well, doll, do you wanna come out and say hello,” a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire touched the floor near her face, “or are we gonna have to force you out?”

Emily’s expressionless face almost faltered at the sight of the bat, but she held back her fear. She wanted to seem strong. Her little haven was being taken from her, and there was nothing she could do about it. She didn’t even know what they would do to her. Rape? Murder? Kidnap? Whatever it was, she would be strong.

“Neither,” she stated sternly, her eyes boring into his.

Negan laughed, which was startling. She expected anger.

“Oh really, now, darling?” he asked, “Playing hard to get? Come on, now. I don’t wanna hurt you.” He slammed the baseball bat on the floor next to her face, making her jump slightly.

“What are you going to do to me?” Emily managed to ask, her voice a bit shaky. She stayed under the bed, unmoving. Maybe she was too scared to move. She couldn’t tell.

“Nothing, if you do what I say.”

Emily’s eyes continued to bore into Negan’s. He still had a large smile plastered on his face with amusement in his eyes. He was enjoying this, and it made Emily’s blood boil.

“You’re going to take this place from me,” Emily hissed, “and yet you already have so much, don’t you?” Her blank face turned to one of rage and defiance.

“This is getting frustrating, doll,” Negan sighed as that phrase alone made several guns cock. His smile was gone. Her eyes widened. “Come out.”

It took a minute, but Emily slowly started to slide out from under the bed. It took all her self-control to remain calm. As she slid out, she allowed Negan to casually take her knife from her hand. She was about to get up from her knees when he spoke, “Stay right there.”

Emily stared up at him in rage as he simply smiled back, wider than before. He stepped closer, and her eyebrows furrowed as she finally broke eye contact, turning her head away as she calmed her breathing.

“Look at me, doll.”

She slowly looked back up at him. He was so close that she had to tilt her head up almost completely to see his face.

“What’s your name?”

“Emily.” Her voice was cold and emotionless.

“Well, Emily,” Negan started, “we aren’t going to hurt you. But I want your shit. This old trailer? It’s mine now. The gun you left over on the table? Mine.” He put her knife in his belt. “This knife? Mine. Oh, and you?” His expression darkened.

“You’re mine.”

A look of utter rage appeared on Emily’s face, and she parted her lips to speak, but he interrupted her.

“Don’t even argue. You’re really fucking outnumbered here, doll. But hey, aren’t you alone here? Well, I’ve got a damn sweet deal for you! In case you couldn’t fucking tell, I own some serious shit. My community is the most powerful for miles. You come back with us, and you don’t have to die alone here.”

“No,” Emily said without skipping a beat.

“No?” Negan asked, his smile fading for just a minute before returning again, “Well alright then. Boys, take whatever you think is useful out to the trucks!” Everyone left the room, leaving Negan and Emily alone. Her fists were clenched so hard that her nails dug into her palms. She used her eyes to say a silent “fuck you” to Negan.

“Don’t worry,” Negan said, “they won’t take everything. We’ll be back for more next week! You just forced yourself into a contract with me. I’ll be back here every week or whenever I fucking feel like it to take your shit.”

“I don’t have anything useful to you,” Emily whispered.

“You think I’m just going to let you get away?” Negan asked, grabbing her chin. Her lip curled in disgust.

“Nobody slips out from under my fingers, Emily. I own everything. Got that?”

“Yes,” Emily didn’t know what else to say at that point.

“Okay, then if you get that, what are you?”

She looked confused for a moment, but her face soon returned to disgust.

“Say it.” Negan growled.

She stared in defiance for a moment longer before she was defeated by the thought of his bat coming in contact with her skull.

“Yours,” she spat.

Satisfied, he let go of her and walked towards the door.

“See you next week, doll.”


	2. Captured

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily tries to do what she does best: run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made this chapter way longer than the first, I usually don't make long first chapters. I checked over it multiple times but let me know if I missed any mistakes!

Perhaps packing her things and running wasn’t the best idea, but it was what Emily did best. Only this time she was alone, and didn’t have to ponder on abandoning people that had trusted her. She was the only one she wanted to worry about anymore, and it would be hard to do so if she had to worry about scavenging more often due to Negan’s self-proclaimed “contract”. She was never truly controlled since the world began, she only made people think they had authority over her and she would often make suggestions to higher-ups or become second in command. This desire for control and authority was her internal drive, something that she felt she could not contain. Running didn’t seem very authoritative, but it meant she was controlling what she was doing, and nobody could tell her what to do.

The Virginian night air was cool, almost chilly as Emily walked along a long forgotten, leaf-ridden backroad. She had no clue where she was heading, as per usual, but this time she would do everything in her power to avoid any communities. She could travel far, far away before Negan found her and eventually find herself another trailer with a moss ridden roof with a musky scented inside. Hell, she could live in a cot in a gas station bathroom and she would still be happier than she would if she had to be controlled by a self-indulged-baseball-bat-wielding asshole.

Emily could make out several silhouettes on the road up ahead, and nearly panicked before she realized it was just a small pack of biters. She counted four rotten heads before pulling out a bowie knife. It took a few more strides before the walking corpses noticed her, their mumbling growls turning into gurgled roars and snapping teeth. Emily analyzed their positions and planned out the best way to take them all out. Once they were nearly upon her, she sidestepped, circling to the rear of the group. Their turns to attempt to reach her again were slow and it gave her the time to slip her knife into one of their sunken in eyes. The biter dropped onto the asphalt. Three left. She backed up, noticing that one walked much faster than the others and caught up to her quickly, making it easy for Emily to take it out before the other two caught up. By then it was another game of I’m faster than you, and she took down the other two without a hassle.

She continued her walk, already feeling a bit tired due to her being used to sleeping well. Luckily, the cool air and the paranoia that rang in her head was enough to keep her going. If Negan wasn’t bluffing, he probably had control over many communities in the area, maybe even scouts. She had no idea how large the area he owned was, so she had plenty of walking to do to be safe. He said he would be back in about a week, so she most likely had plenty of time.

She must’ve walked for three hours when she finally decided that she needed to rest. She still recognized the area, so she knew about the run-down gas station nearby. She was literally going to sleep in a gas station than be controlled by Negan. She walked up to the door, peering inside. She could barely make out anything in the darkness, and so she decided to walk in blindly. Emily couldn’t just bang on the windows like usual; if there were people inside then she wouldn’t want to wake them before finding another place to rest.

There was no smell of death when Emily walked in, a smell she had gotten used to. That most likely meant there were no biters lurking in the darkness. Her eyes had mostly gotten used to the darkness, but she still squinted, carefully stepping around fallen trash that littered the floor. She heard no growls so far, perhaps she had gotten lucky. The click of a gun made her go rigid. Spoke too soon.

“Turn ‘round real slow,” a man’s voice ordered. Emily complied, her hands up as she turned to face him.

“Tell me what made ya think you could waltz in here. You takin’ my shit?” Emily observed his face. Behind his angry looking expression were eyes that had fear in them. She didn’t feel as scared anymore.

“I’m not taking anything,” she said, “just trying to find a place to sleep.”

“Sucks,” he snapped, “whatcha got in that bag?”

“N-Nothing, just—”

“Give it to me. Mine now.”

Emily angrily shoved the bag off her shoulder, letting it loudly drop to the ground and forcing him to walk over to her to pick it up. She grinned as he knelt down to get it. The gun was easy to snatch from his hands, and he flew back, falling to the ground.

“Shit, girl,” he said with a shaky voice, “didn’t mean nothin’, I can—” He suddenly sprung up from the ground, barreling towards her. She didn’t have time to think of where she would shoot as she fired. The man gripped his stomach, letting out a strangled cry as blood gushed from the wound. It coated his hands and his shirt, dripping onto the floor.

“Sorry,” Emily said, “I don’t think you’ll survive that. Looks like you bled out half your body already.” She aimed the gun at his head, sighing. She didn’t expect that she had to kill anyone tonight, and now she would have nightmares.

“No, don’t,” the man pleaded.

“Come on man, it’s a mercy kill. Don’t want you to be a biter.” She tuned out his desperate cries for life, looking away as she pulled the trigger. His pleads stopped, and the gas station was quiet again. She looked to him. He was on his side, a bullet wound on his forehead.

After stealing his knife from his belt and dragging his body outside, leaving an unpleasant trail of blood through the gas station, Emily pillaged through the dead man’s bags. In them was yet another gun, leaving Emily with three now, several more cans of food along with a stale bag of chips, a few water bottles, and a second knife. He was well off by himself it seemed.

It looked as though he had been living in the place for maybe a few weeks. He had a makeshift bed in a corner with several blankets and even a pillow he had found god knows where. There were cans of food laid out in neat stacks and empty cans thrown down one of the isles out of sight. A book lay on top of the blankets. Looking at his home made guilt churn in Emily’s stomach as she sat down on top of the blankets. Picking up the book, she read the title: Of Mice and Men. She chuckled sadly. Emily had read the book back in high school a long time ago, and although it was short and simple she really had enjoyed it. That man wouldn’t have killed her, and he wouldn’t have taken all her things. It happened too quickly and now it couldn’t be taken back.

Emily didn’t like killing people. The lives she had taken would always cling to her and their faces would be in her dreams, if she had any. Everyone wanted to survive, and would do whatever they could to achieve that. The people she murdered had stories, the last chapter at the hands of Emily herself. That thought made her feel powerful, but it was an uncomfortable kind, one that made her feel disgusted in herself.

As Emily pulled the blankets over herself, she spent yet another night wondering why she was a power-hungry coward. Two things that shouldn’t have ever gone together and yet here she was. A leader and a runner. A woman who works her ass off to control others and then abandons the people that rely on her. She knew that she didn’t want to lead people, she wanted to control them. She had tried in the old world to stop this revolting behavior of hers, but once she had control of something firmly she did not want to let go.

That thought made her mind wander too much, to icy blue eyes looking into her and calloused hands drifting across her skin. Hands that she had memorized every line of, attached to a body she had mapped every part of. A body that, in an old life, she had unrightfully claimed as hers. A body with a soul that still loved her deeply, even after all of her arguments and all of her strict guidelines. A toxic love that brought her high into the clouds and dug its teeth deep into the flesh of her heart. It was something so painful and intoxicating, that Emily couldn’t let go of until the very end.

A tear rolled down her cheek. She hadn’t even noticed her eyes tearing up. Even though she was angry at herself for thinking of long lost things, she continued to let the tears well up in her eyes then fall, cascading down her face and resting uncomfortably along her neck. She laid like that for a long while before sitting up, grabbing her bag. She rummaged through water bottles and knives until she found something resting at the bottom. Emily pulled out the ring, studying it. The dainty diamond that rested on the silver band glistened beautifully in the moonlight streaming in through the dingy gas station windows. She smiled at the ring, but it was a sad one, broken and quivering. Her crying was now audible as she let a sob wrack through her body before she held her breath, attempting to cry quieter. It had been a long, long time since she let herself cry.

There were so many things that she wished she had done different.

***

Emily jolted awake like she did most mornings, confused and ready to grab the closest knife. This was how she was now, cautious and afraid. As she remembered where she was she relaxed, but not completely. It was light outside, which meant that Emily had wasted several hours of daylight that could’ve been used to continue her journey to nowhere. Within a few minutes, she had herself packed up. She shoved two of the blankets into the pillowcase along with a few cans of food. In her bag was a gun, knives, and more cans of food. The second gun was tucked into the front of her pants while the last was tucked in the back. She held her bowie knife at ready in her right hand. Swinging the sagging pillow over her shoulder and ignoring the pain as the cans slammed into her back, Emily walked out of the gas station. Her items were a bit heavy, but she could manage if she took breaks occasionally.

The roads were long and winding, and it was easy for Emily to feel the motivation drain from her due to the robotic feeling of walking and the unchanging scenery. The escaping part was always like this. She would walk, and walk, the solitude eating away at her until she found a new group. Only this time, she wouldn’t try to find people. If she ever did want to enter a new group, she would if she was far away, out of Negan’s reach and if she laid low. Becoming important was dangerous; it meant you were responsible for many people and whatever went wrong. The inconvenience of the responsibility wasn’t worth the feeling of power to Emily anymore.

Emily stopped in the road, sighing. She looked around at the tall trees that lined the road. If this time was different, then something would need to change. She turned, stepping off the asphalt and onto the grass, entering the forest. It was weird, and different, but it did make sense in some respects. It would be harder for people to find her if she was in an unknown location in the woods rather than a mapped road. Crisp leaves crunched beneath her feet as she cut through the forest. She knew that the area was a suburban one, so it wouldn’t be too long until the woods ended, and she was in another location.

She tried to enjoy the scenery as she walked, but she couldn’t seem to absorb it. The world looked so desolate and dead now, even the forest that had plenty of life in it. It was as though Emily’s eyes were tinted bleak greys, blues, and browns. She knew that is was something that would never change now, something she would have to live with.

***

Three days of walking and barely ever resting was very painful, and it was wearing away at Emily. In the past, she would take her time on the road and rest often. However, she barely gave herself any breaks to ensure that she would be far away from Negan’s grasp. Her food was very scarce, as most of the stores were almost completely wiped clean, but she had just enough to keep her stomach from growling too often.

She sat down on the side of the road, letting out a pained sigh as she grabbed her foot. One of her boots was falling apart, and a hole that had started on the side of the shoe was now worn down to the underneath. Everything she walked across stabbed at her feet. At first, she limped and avoided leaving that foot on the ground for too long, but she eventually allowed herself to get used to the pain to not slow herself down. She examined the foot through the hole, seeing bloody cuts with dirt and gravel stuck in the blood. Gritting her teeth, she wiped away the debris for the fifth time that day. She would get an infection, but she was resilient enough to fight it off. She hoped.

Getting up again, she slightly limped down the road. Emily was right about the forest; it soon came to an end and now she was in a ghost town that was in an open, vulnerable area. The only place she could hide if need be was within shops or homes, or behind the few trees that dotted street corners and yards. She walked with caution, her head darting towards every off-putting noise like a deer in the forest. Avoiding people was very easy so far, other than the man in the gas station, but she could never be too prepared to hide within a second.

***

“ _She what?_ ” Negan hissed into a walkie talkie.

“She—uh—she’s not here. All her shit is gone.” Dwight’s voice was full of static, but Negan could make out what he said. His lip curled in anger. “I knew I shouldn’t have left that bitch there.”

“Negan, she’s just one girl.” Dwight said, his voice almost timid.

“Yes, she is just one girl,” Negan’s voice was low and intimidating, “but I put my trust in her to cooperate. Damnit, I even sent you out early to keep her on her toes. I bet the pussy ran the second we left.” He paused for a long moment, silence from Dwight. Negan knew that he was still listening.

“Let the outposts and lookouts know to keep their eyes out for a girl, kinda short, kinda hot. If they find her, tell ‘em to take her in, whether she wants to or not. Then send her back here right to Sanctuary. I want that bitch working under me.”

“Alright, boss,” Dwight said casually, then slipped the walkie talkie back into his belt.

“Hey, Ryan, radio the outposts, and see if you can let the lookouts know that Negan is looking for a runaway. Average height, brown hair, brown eyes, name is Emily.” He didn’t wait for the man to reply, walking out of the trailer and to the truck parked outside. The other Saviors followed, and Dwight could hear Ryan talking into his radio. He hopped into the driver’s side, starting the car once the rest of the Saviors hopped in the bed of the truck. Dwight smiled to himself.

“That girl is in for a hot mess.”

***

The sun was setting and the world around Emily was dimming. She had a full-on limp at this point, and she was no longer able to ignore the pain. It was excruciating, so she just gritted her teeth and panted as she walked, occasionally muttering curses. Every biter that came around her was dispatched quickly due to her pain and irritation. She’d have to find a place to rest soon. The town had thinned out and the world around her turned to forest again, but she walked on the road to avoid the abundance of sharp objects on the forest floor. Ahead, peeking through the tops of the trees was what looked like a satellite. She was worried; a place that large might house people. She decided to walk past it, and then force her way through the forest to find a place to sleep.

Paranoia washed over her as she passed the entrance to the satellite building. She felt like she was being watched. Turning to look at the building, she strained to see a man on the rooftop, a large gun slung over him. He was staring back at her, his arm at his face. His mouth was moving, and she soon made the connection that he was speaking into a walkie talkie. She turned to run but she heard a gun cock. _Shit._

“Come on, girl. We gotta bring you in. Drop your bag, and another guy ‘bout to be here to search ya. We ain’t gonna hurt you unless you give us a reason.” A man’s voice, thick with a southern accent, said casually. Emily dropped her bag to the ground, her arm shaking with rage. She saw another man coming down to them from the entrance, then looked down at the ground. She failed. She found another community, and they did not seem like the welcoming type.

“Don’t freak out,” a man with a deep voice mumbled as his hands touched her hips. She cringed slightly, but allowed him to pat her down. Her two guns were removed from her, along with her knife.

“Sorry,” the man whispered as his hands entered her back and front pockets, finding nothing. She squeezed her eyes shut in utter discomfort.

“Alright, sorry, walk with us now. I saw you limping. No use in running.”

She went to walk, sucking in air at the pain in her foot. She man that searched her grabbed her arm, helping her walk towards the building. These men were being polite to her, but there was an underlying threat that Emily could feel. Everything was too tense.

“What’s yer name?” The man that was pointing a gun at her asked.

“Emily.” The two men glanced at each other, but Emily didn’t notice. They entered the building silently, and then led her to a room with a cot on the ground.

“Go get Richey to get her some bandages for that foot,” the man that had helped her walk said as he eased Emily onto the cot.

“Why am I here?” Emily asked as she removed her boots, the man cringing at the state of her foot.

“You’re not gonna like it,” he said, “but we’ve been ordered to bring in an Emily that looks just like you.”

Her expression darkened as she realized the most obvious explanation as to why she would be in this explanation.

“Negan?” Her voice came out as a whimper. He was about to speak when the man from before along with a new man walked in. They silently cleaned out her cuts with some water and cloth, making Emily hiss in pain but she bared through it. The two men left the room after wrapping the bandages around her foot. The second they were out of earshot Emily spoke, slightly panicked.

“You’ve gotta get me out of here.”

“You think I can do that?” He asked, “I’d rather not have Lucille bash in my brains.”

“Lucille?” Emily’s question made him chuckle.

“His bat. Her name is Lucille.” Emily’s eyes furrowed for a moment, but she shook it off.

“What will he do to me?”

“I don’t know. He usually doesn’t kill women, that I’ve heard of. He might just throw you in with the workers at the Sanctuary.”

Emily put her head in her hands. She had never been caught running away before.

“Just do what you’re told, Emily,” he said, “and maybe things will get better.”

“Thanks,” she whispered, “for your kindness. Gives me a little bit of faith.”

“I ain’t shit. I just go wherever I’m fed,” he replied, getting up and walking towards the door.

“Good luck,” he said before leaving. She could here a lock being put on the door.

Emily laid down on the uncomfortable cot, focusing on the pain in her foot to avoid thinking too hard about what would happen to her in the morning. She’d been shot, stabbed, beaten, but she had never been caught. She was a runner, she wasn’t supposed to get caught. And of all people, she was caught by the bloodthirsty man that controlled most of this part of Virginia. His power reached far, considering how far she walked. He probably had several of these outposts scattered throughout the area. Her brain felt scattered as she finally drifted off into sleep.

Emily jerked awake when she heard loud, aggressive knocks on the door. She was confused and groggy until a booming voice called out,

“Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey!”

She recognized Negan’s voice instantly. She heard the lock on her door being opened, and after a long pause, the door swung open with enthusiasm.

“Boy, do you look like shit!” His smile was wide, and he looked especially happy, “And I am so, so fucking glad to have found you!” She sat up in the cot, putting on a dark, intimidating expression.

“I thought I’d never see you again,” Negan continued, speaking a bit quieter, “I told you, doll, nobody slips out from under my fingers. Now come on, get up! I already did the favor of coming out here just for you, now I gotta take your ass back!”

Emily went to stand, but cringed in pain. The pain was even worse, and she could feel the swelling on her foot.

“Sh-She had a big hole in her shoe,” the man that helped her last night stuttered from out in the hall, “we had to bandage her up. She got cut up real bad.”

“Well shit, doll,” Negan’s smile faded as he walked over to her, “were you really that in a hurry to get away from me?” He knelt, offering Emily his arm. She just stared at in shock. It was terrifying to see him again, especially after figuring out how powerful he was.

“Come on,” he ordered, but in a gentle tone. She finally grabbed his arm, allowing him to drag her to her feet and wrap her arm around his shoulder. He grabbed her waist as he walked with her to the door. She didn’t know whether to feel terrified or safe with how gentle he was being with her, but she soon shook that thought. She had her arm wrapped around a very sick man.

“Grab her stuff and put it in my truck,” he ordered, and several of the men immediately went hurrying away.

Negan ignored her noises of pain as he walked as quick as he could down the hall to the main entrance with her.

“Do you know how furious I am with you?” He growled in her ear. A shiver went down her spine, but she kept her face expressionless.

“We have a lot to discuss. Mainly your punishment. And I do not want to take it easy on you right now. I was a nice guy and didn’t force you to come back to the Sanctuary. I trusted you, and you betrayed that trust.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t trust strangers.” Emily regretted the words the second they came out of her mouth. They stepped outside, and Negan was suddenly much more careful with her foot to avoid the sharp rocks. His expression stayed angry, though.

“You do not want to be sarcastic with me right now, darlin’.” Emily cringed in pain as she stepped on a rock.

“God, you’re such a fucking pussy,” Negan said, “you can’t even step on a rock.” Emily chose to not tell him the state her foot was in. She’d be satisfied with his horrified expression later. They got into Negan’s truck without anymore fighting words. Negan pulled out a black bag from the glove compartment.

“Can’t let you see where the Sanctuary is.” He explained before sliding over to her, slipping the bag over her head. Emily could see almost nothing, except for a little bit of sunlight that cut through the fabric. Emily tensed as he kept his hand on her neck for a moment, and she could feel his face close to hers.

“You’re kind of hot. Maybe I’ll make you a wife.”

Emily ignored the vulgar comment as his hand gently slid off her neck, and the car started up. She rested her head against the window as they drove someplace foreign.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you're thinking so far! Support is appreciated.


	3. Friday I'm in Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily spends some time in a cell.

Negan managed to remain quiet for a good thirty minutes in the car with Emily, and she was grateful. She stayed against the window, unmoving and enjoying the feeling of the sun warming her face. For some reason, she wasn’t afraid anymore. She was ready to accept whatever would happen to her. There was nothing left.

“Hey,” Negan said, his voice deep and calm, “you asleep over there?”

“No,” she replied, in an equally calm voice.

“Good, because I’ve decided what I want to do with your scaredy-cat ass.”

“What’s that?” Her voice was almost a whisper. The atmosphere was so light, and Emily found it very odd.

“I’m going to lock you in a cell for a few days, I’m going to break you, and you’re going to be my new favorite Savior.” Emily smiled, hidden by the bag over her head. He was probably speaking so calm to irritate her and make her yell at him. She could easily play that game with him.

“What’s a Savior? What you call your men?”

“Yeah, it is. And you’re going to be broken in like a horse,” he reminded Emily, trying to dig under her skin.

“Alright,” she replied nonchalantly.

“Aren’t you mad?” She heard his thin patience wearing away from the tone of his voice.

“No,” He exhaled loudly.

“I know you haven’t given up yet. This won’t prevent you from being locked away for a while.”

“Are you going to hurt me?” She asked, tilting her head to the sky to feel the sun on her face more. Maybe if she didn’t cooperate, they would kill her. In her current state of defeat, she didn’t mind.

“Not me personally,” the anger was rising in his voice.

“Why?”

“I don’t hit women.”

“Isn’t that kind of weak?” Emily asked, “making people lesser than you beat up women because you’re too sensitive about it?”

The car halted so suddenly that Emily fell forward, her elbows slamming into the dashboard. Negan’s hand was against her chest briefly before he pushed her back against the seat again. Emily’s breath was knocked out of her, and she gasped for air. He was stronger than he looked. One of his hands snaked up to her neck, where he pressed down a bit. She didn’t have a chance to catch her breath from having the wind knocked out of her, and so she gasped and wheezed even more.

“You’re just a little pain in the ass, aren’t you? You think you can get under my skin?” He was so close to her face that she could feel his breath through the bag. Even through her gasps for breath, she smiled.

“I just did.”

His grip loosened in his moment of shock, and Emily found the opportunity to bring her fist up, connecting it with what felt like his cheekbone. She swiftly removed the bag from her head to better fight, but she knew she couldn’t fight for long. She had the door handle to the passenger’s side in her head. Negan let go of his face and was about to recover, but Emily wasted no time. She let adrenaline boost her strength as she connected her fist with his nose this time. Emily felt a crack.

“Fucking shit!” Negan growled in pain, grabbing his bleeding nose. Emily had her hand on the doorknob, about to open it when Negan grabbed her wrist with a death grip. Emily was not going to give up or place nice right now. She moved her head down, biting onto his wrist. Hard.

“Jesus fucking Christ!” Negan hissed, his voice cracking from the pain. He grabbed onto her hair and pulled viciously, but it only made him make more pained noises and Emily bit down harder. She felt his flesh break and tasted the coppery blood in her mouth. From the corner of her eye she saw his baseball bat propped up against the back of the driver’s seat.

“Don’t you fucking—” Negan roared as she reached back and grabbed it. The position was awkward, and her slow movements gave Negan the opportunity to slam his hand down on the arm that Emily was holding Lucille in. Emily felt as though her shoulder was almost dislocated and it was her turn to shout in pain. Her open mouth gave Negan another opportunity to grab her hair, yanking her head back. The sting in her scalp brought tears to her eyes as she let go of Lucille. Emily gave up again, panting and staring at Negan’s fierce eyes.

“Don’t you fucking touch her.” He growled, his voice low and almost quiet. He looked like a mess; his hair was messed up, his nose bleeding and twisted and his arm dripping with blood. Emily probably looked just as bad. They stared at each other for a long time before he spoke again.

“Are you done?” She said nothing. She didn’t want to be done. She wanted him dead.

Without taking his eyes off her, he opened the glove compartment and pulled out handcuffs. She saw that he had the key in there as well. He forced her to twist in her seat and he cuffed her hands behind her back. Searching for a moment, Negan found the black bag and put it over her head again. He laughed, low and rumbling.

“I know you just tried to kill me with my own Lucille and all, but I’m kinda turned on seeing you cuffed and blindfolded.” He paused, but continued after he didn’t get a reaction from Emily.

“Now, as I was saying before you bit into me like a god damn biter,” Negan said, “I’m taking you back to the Sanctuary and throwing you in a fucking cell.” Emily said nothing again, leaning back against the window and feeling the sun on her face. She was inevitably screwed.

***

The ride to the Sanctuary was quiet after the fight, and after about an hour they stopped.

“Fat Joey, please be a god damn doll and get Dr. Carson for me.” She heard Negan call. She also heard the growl of many, many biters. She had no idea what was going on beyond the bag. Maybe Negan was making her biter chow.

“Hey, Dwighty boy!” Negan hollered, “Can you take this little bitch to number three?”

“What happened to your arm?” Dwight asked, sounding shocked. Negan paused.

“She bit me.”

Without any further conversation, the passenger door opened, and Emily was grabbed by the arm and pulled from the car. Emily walked with whoever was taking her away silently, not bothering to fight anymore. She held back the curses from the pain in her foot, trying and failing to conceal her limping. It was only then that she realized she had no shoes on. The sound of biters was fading away and instead she heard the chatter of people, many people.

A door opened and suddenly she was inside a building, the sunlight shining through the bag replaced with what Emily guessed was fluorescent lightbulbs. They flickered, some of them dull. In only about a minute she heard keys jiggling, a creaky door opening, and then being thrust inside. The cold concrete ground made her shiver. The bag was pulled from her head and she blinked for a moment before seeing a familiar face. Dwight was the man with the scar that had originally found her back in the trailer.

“You,” she whispered, but Dwight interrupted.

“Doctor Carson will come down here and see about your foot once he’s done with Negan. Sit tight.” He slammed the door, leaving her in the darkness.

***

Dwight entered Doctor Carson’s makeshift infirmary, seeing Negan sitting on a bed, wrapping up his own arm. The blood on his face from his nose was cleaned off, revealing the already bruising and broken nose. He also looked like he had a bruise forming on the side of his face.

“It shouldn’t take too long for that arm to heal up, but you’ll probably have a scar,” Doctor Carson’s gentle voice said, before the two turned their attention to Dwight.

“Hey, Dwighty boy,” Negan boomed with a smile, “you’re in charge of the little bitch in number three. You know the drill. Get her to say those two words that I love so much.”

“Alright, boss,” Dwight replied casually, walking out of the room and back to where he had come from.

***

Emily squinted as light flooded the tiny concrete room. She looked up to see a man in a doctor’s coat. He was an older man, lanky and timid. In his hand he held a small first aid kit. Negan wasn’t out in the hall, but instead Dwight.

“Hello, I’m Doctor Carson,” his voice was gentle and patient, “show me that foot of yours?”

Emily stretched out her foot as Doctor Carson kneeled, slowly unwrapping the bandages. Once they were off, he cringed.

“Terrible infection, and you scraped off most of your skin. How long have you been walking on this foot?”

“Three days,” she replied, wincing at the feeling of the cold air touching the open wound.

“I can periodically disinfect it, but that’s the best I can do. It’ll need to air out often so it can scab and heal.” He turned to Dwight.

“Will Negan let her stay in the infirmary, so I can monitor the infection?”

“Doubt it,” Dwight replied, “Just come down here whenever to check on her.” Doctor Carson silently nodded. He opened his kit and pulled out disinfectant wipes. It didn’t seem very professional, but it was definitely something decent compared to other communities.

“This will hurt. Please don’t kick me.”

Emily hissed and slammed her hand down on her thigh to control her leg as he wiped down her foot.

“Damnit, damnit, shit!” She mumbled as he continued, removing gravel that was deeply lodged in her.

“You have a lot of gravel stuck in there, I’ll need to use tweezers.” He paused, looking anxious, before turning to Dwight again.

“I have several residents that I need to see before the day is over. Can you finish the job? All you have to do is remove the gravel, wipe it down again and wrap it up.” Dwight looked severely irritated, but gave a nod. Within seconds, Doctor Carson nervously scurried out of the room. Dwight stared at her for a long time before leaning down, opening up the first aid kit and pulling out a pair of tweezers.

“Please, don’t fucking hurt me,” Dwight said, gently wrapping his hand around her ankle to steady her leg. He looked severely uncomfortable.

Emily dug her fingers into her palms and cried out in pain as Dwight carefully dug the tweezers into the wound, removing a piece of gravel. He continued, looking up at her after each piece. All she had was pain in her eyes. After a while, he sat down completely and crossed his legs to get comfortable.

“Here, come here,” he mumbled, grabbing her legs and sliding her closer to him. He propped her foot up on his knee. Emily laid down on the cold ground, bracing herself for more pain.

Dwight was slow at first, trying to ignore Emily’s whimpers of pain but he slowly worked faster. He wanted to get this done as fast as possible and didn’t want to here her crying more than absolutely necessary. Emily slowly got used to it, her noises of pain quieter and happening less frequently. That was when she noticed that he was gently rubbing his thumb against her ankle, probably trying to distract her from the pain. She felt bewildered by the kind gesture, but accepted it, trying to focus on that instead of the tweezers digging into her. Emily looked up at Dwight. He was focusing on the wound, looking genuinely upset. It must’ve taken twenty whole agonizing minutes until Dwight set the tweezers down.

“There’s still some more pieces deep in there, but I think you’ve dealt with enough for now.” He was very quiet. Emily tilted her head back, draping her hand over her eyes and panting. Her foot was stinging.

“Thanks,” Emily breathed.

“Not over yet, hold still,” he said, and she felt her foot being wiped down again. She muttered curses under her breath. After he was done, he wrapped up the wound again.

“Once I’m done playing doctor with this foot, I’m gonna have to break you in for Negan. I have a feeling I’m going to be working for a while.”

“So, you’re the one that’s going to hurt me?”

“Only if you give me a reason to,” Dwight’s voice was always so monotone, almost empty.

She stared at him, unspeaking. After a few moments Dwight broke eye contact, standing up and brushing off his jeans before grabbing the first aid kit. He silently left the room, shutting the door and locking it. Emily was alone in the darkness again. She purposely focused on the stinging of her foot, now. It was a decent distraction from her complete isolation and it helped her not think too deeply about what was going to happen to her.

She jumped as music suddenly started blasting. After a moment, she recognized the tune. Friday I’m in Love by The Cure. It pierced her ears, but a wide smile spread across her face. It had been so long since she listened to music, let alone one of her favorite bands. If this was supposed to make her go insane, it would have to take a very, very long time. She laid down on the cold ground, arms crossed behind her head, gently singing along.

***

“I can’t believe that little bitch bit me,” Negan mumbled to Simon, looking at the bandage on his arm. Blood had leaked through it a bit.

“Well, sir, I guess she was a little stronger than we thought. All the more fun to break her in though, am I right?” Simon’s mustache moved with his wide smile.

“I’m going to be so satisfied when that little bitch is loyal to me.” Negan grinned, the feeling hurting his nose a bit.

“Yeah, but, as we were saying, sir, Hilltop was short this week.” Simon said, trying to contain his nervous fidgeting.

Negan looked over the stacks of papers on his desk, sighing. He walked to his mini bar that was in his office and poured himself some whiskey.

“What did you do about it?” He asked Simon, returning to his seat at his desk.

“Gave a warning, since it was their first time. Gotta keep ‘em on our side, ya know? Don’t want any rebelling, fighting the system.”

“Next time, kill a bitch. Can’t be lenient with the assholes. Was that all, Simon? I kind of want to be balls deep in Sherry right now.”

“Uh,” Simon muttered, “yeah, boss. That was it,” he gave Negan a wave and a wink before walking to the door.

“Hey, Simon? Tell Sherry to come in here for me.” Negan called before he left.

“Yeah, sure, boss.”

***

Emily laid on her side, the cold floor chilling one side of her body. The song must have been playing on a loop for two hours now, but it still wasn’t bothering her. The only thing that did bother her was the fact that she hadn’t gotten to sleep yet. The lack of sleep was what would make her pliable, and easy to take advantage of. She reached for her bag, but the realization hit her that it was taken. She shot up, still searching the floor for a moment before cursing and slamming her fist into the floor. Her ring. Her ring. He had taken her bag away from her and now it was god knows where.

“Damnit, damnit!” Emily shouted, barely able to hear her voice over the music. She was panicking like a little child that had lost their favorite blanket, but she didn’t care.

It took about thirty minutes before she finally stopped punching the floors and walls, her knuckles bloody and raw. Her eyes were red from tears and lack of sleep. She laid back onto the concrete, her hands at her sides as she stared at the ceiling. In an instant, her tears and panic stopped, and her eyes glossed over in emptiness. She could finally feel the pain in her knuckles, but it didn’t bother her. Blood glided down her hand and onto the concrete. The last thing that she gave a shit about was gone.

Emily lost track of time as her eyes grew heavy. It must have been a few more hours, and she didn’t move an inch. The blood on her knuckles had dried, feeling crusty against her skin. She didn’t care about the music anymore. She drifted off to sleep rather easily, but it was a light one, the song still visiting her in her dreams.

***

Emily jolted awake when she heard the door to her cell creaking open. The music had stopped, most likely because others didn’t want to deal with it. The light from the outside made her eyes hurt so much that she put her hands over her eyes.

“Is everything okay?” Doctor Carson asked.

“Yeah,” Emily murmured, “bright.”

“Sorry about that, I’ll just be a minute. Is your foot feeling any different? Is the pain worse?” He leaned down, pulling out his first aid kit.

“What happened to your hands?” He asked as he unwrapped her foot to replace the bandages.

“Punched some walls,” Emily said, laughing.

“They look as bad as your foot. I’ll have to wrap up your hands as well.”

After that, he worked silently. Emily was equally as quiet, ignoring her pain and looking out into the hallway. It had been probably twelve hours since she had stood up, and she yearned to walk around.

“How long do you think I’ll be cooped up in here?” Emily asked as she sat up, so he could wrap her hands.

“Until you’re loyal to Negan,” he paused, avoiding her eyes, “or until he thinks you are.” They were silent again. He waved goodbye and he left, the door locking again. Friday I’m in Love began its rounds again.

***

Two days of isolation, other than Doctor Carson rewrapping her bandages and Dwight silently throwing in plates of oatmeal. After a few times, they both stopped speaking, and Emily stared blankly. The song had gotten old to her now, which was unfortunate. She had herself propped up in a corner of the cell. Emily had been thinking. A lot. It had begun within the first day, she had already started to act like she was breaking. She was tired of the cell, and honestly curious as to what the Sanctuary was. All she knew was the cell and the section of hallways outside the door.

The door creaked open, and Dwight entered. It wasn’t lunch time yet, so she assumed he had something to do or say.

“Hey,” he mumbled, “you’ve seemed to mellow out, so we need to have a chat.” Emily looked up at him.

“Who are you?” He asked.

“I’m Emily?” She said, questioning.

“No,” Dwight brushed his hair back, “you’re Negan – or at least you should be. I’m Negan. Everyone here is Negan.” Emily stared at him for a long moment.

“Is this a pledge to loyalty?”

“Yeah, it is. Are you ready for this?”

“What have I got to lose? Shouldn’t the big man hear it from himself, though?”

“He’ll be down here later today. I told him you seemed ready.” He gave Emily a hard stare. She stared back into his eyes, reading them. He looked skeptical, almost, but he said nothing.

“Did Negan do that to you?” She asked as he turned to leave, referring to his face. Dwight tensed in the doorway, his hand on the knob.

“Yeah,” he replied without looking at her, then left.

***

Dwight knocked on the door to Negan’s office. “It’s Dwight.”

“Come on in,” his voice bellowed from inside. Dwight stepped inside, walking to Negan’s desk.

“I told her that you were going to see her today. She said she wanted to say it to you herself.”

“Oh, did she?” Negan’s face lit up, a smile on his face. His leather jacket was off, and Dwight could see that the bandages were still on his arm. The bite was taking a long time to heal. His nose looked pretty bad too. The break had caused deep purple bruises under his eyes.

“After this paperwork,” Negan continued, “I’ll be down there to see her.”

“Do you think it’s a good idea, to make her a savior right away?”

“I did it to you after you fucked up, didn’t I?” Dwight tensed, but nodded.

“You sure did.” In a silent understanding of Negan’s work, Dwight left his office. When he opened the door to the parlor, Sherry was sitting on one of the couches. They made eye contact briefly, and Dwight’s face twisted to one of rage, and he stomped out of the room.

***

Emily jumped a bit when three loud knocks sounded on the door to the cell. They were over exaggerated, so Emily guessed it could on be one person. The door swung open, and Negan stood with Lucille over his shoulder, a wide smile stretching across his face. With the hall light shining around him, he almost looked like something holy. His broken nose brought him back down to a normal man, though.

“Hello there, doll,” he beamed. Emily stared at him, trying her best to keep her face calm instead of twisting into rage.

“Get up,” Negan said, offering his hand to her. She hesitated, but slowly reached out and took it.

“Shit,” Emily said quietly as she stumbled. She forgot how bad it hurt to walk since she hadn’t done it in three days. Her bones were stiff as well. Her face was pressed against something. The smell of leather. Her eyes widened as Negan’s hands gripped her shoulders, holding her steady as she was against his chest.

“Woah, you alright there, doll?” He asked, pulling her away to look at her.

“Yeah, just weak I guess.”

“What happened to your hands?”

“Punched a wall,” she mumbled. All the more better for him to think she went crazy and broke, right?

“Your arm?” He asked. She looked to the huge bruise on her upper arm.

“Uh, you did that. In the car.”

“Hm,” he murmured, then shook it off.

“Anyways, what I was here for. I need to ask you a very, very important question, doll.” His smile was gone, and he looked serious. Emily already knew the question, and she already had her answer. He paused before speaking again,

“Who are you?” Emily pretended like she was thinking for a while before replying.

“I’m Negan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know if you enjoyed. I also have a question. Would you be alright if there was some Dwight/Emily? I kind of like the concept, but I wouldn't take it too far. This isn't much of a love story, after all.


	4. Amour-propre

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I finally updated. I really lost motivation for this fic, and not many people were commenting, but something was nagging at me to continue. Went a little overboard and wrote 5k words. Please let me know what you think! It gives me motivation to continue.

“This is the mess hall, and down that halls leads to the marketplace,” Laura said, looking back at Emily.

              After Negan released Emily from her cell about an hour ago, he appointed Laura to give Emily a tour. Laura was stoic and seemed rather aggressive, but her and Emily were getting along. Emily looked into the double doors leading to the mess hall, seeing many people sitting around eating lunch or waiting in line for food. It looked rather organized, much like everything else in the Sanctuary.

              Emily was shocked to discover just how big Negan’s place was. It was a huge factory surrounded by a fence that had biters chained to it. Everywhere she looked, there seemed to be a Savior wielding a gun. It didn’t make Emily feel safe, though. She could see the egotistical looks in all of their eyes. They weren’t protecting anything except their egos.

“I’m gonna show you to the showers now,” Laura paused, “looks like you need one.” Emily laughed.

“Fuck yes I do.” She followed behind Laura around a few turns until they reached the showers.

“Go ahead and get in, I’ll grab you some new clothes while you’re in.” Emily nodded and entered.

              It looked similar to the showers in a locker room. There was a line of showers, curtains covering them. Water was all over the tiled floor, a musky smell in the air. On the other side of the room was a line of mirrors. Emily avoided her reflection and stepped into one of the showers, pulling the curtain back. She removed her clothes and threw them onto the floor on the other side, then paused as she stared at the handle. It had been a very long time since she had a real shower.

              She let out a sigh of bliss as the water hit her. It was about room temperature, but it still felt wonderful on her skin. She stood relaxing for a moment before she began scrubbing off grime and blood from her skin with the help of a soap bar nearby. Once that was done, she grabbed a travel sized bottle of shampoo and dumped it onto her greasy head, and let out a satisfied hum and she rubbed it into her scalp. It felt therapeutic, and she spent longer than she should have enjoying cleaning her hair. She finally forced herself to rinse out the shampoo, then grabbed a towel that was draped over the curtain and wrapped it around herself.

              The feeling of her wet, injured foot on the cold floor was painful. She had almost forgotten that she was injured. She quickly shook off the pain and looked over at the mirrors. The mirror across from her was very fogged up, but she could see her blurry figure. Slowly, she approached it, then hesitantly wiped the condensation away with her hand. Her hair was longer and thicker than she last remembered, and her loose curls were already forming with her drying hair. She peered closer, looking at her pale skin then to her eyes. She looked tired and almost foreign. Her eye bags were deep, purple collected in the corners and her lids drooped in sleep deprivation.

“You’re acting like you’ve never looked in a mirror before.” Negan’s voice made her jump and grip her towel tighter. He slowly strolled into the room then walked behind Emily, and she stared at him through the mirror.

“I look different than last time,” she paused, “sadder.” Her lip subtly curled as Negan placed his hands on her upper arms. He didn’t notice.

“Well, you better change that sad face to an angry one for me. Don’t want my Saviors looking all mopey dopey around here.”

“Negan.” Emily said suddenly. She didn’t know when she would see him next, and she wanted to ask where her bag was. Her ring.

“Hm?” He asked, removing his hands from her and strolling to the doorframe of the room.

“My bag,” she looked down at the tiled floor, “where’s my bag?”

“In storage, ready to be sorted out so we can put the items in the marketplace. You get to start all over.” He beamed, amusement etched across his face.

“No!” Emily shocked herself with the outburst, then looked into Negan’s eyes with intensity.

“Negan, a ring,” she whispered, “there was a ring in that bag. Please let me have it.”

“Oh?” Negan’s amusement only grew, “And what makes you think you deserve it?” She gripped onto her towel, feeling so vulnerable and small. She hated it.

“I don’t deserve it,” she whispered, stepping towards him, “I just need that ring.” Emily focused on holding the lump in her throat, refusing to cry in front of him.

“Tell you what,” Negan smiled wide, “I’ll take ring out of the bag and once I think you’ve earned it, I’ll hand it over. How does that sound?”

“Yes, please, as long as I get to have it.”

She tried to keep a friendly, grateful face as Negan stepped into her personal space again. He grabbed a lock of her hair.

“I’ll give it to you right now if you let me fuck you against this wall.” A shit-eating grin spread across his face.

“Only kidding, doll!” he said once Emily didn’t even smile, “Well, sort of kidding.” He let go of her hair and then turned around, towards the door.

“I’m going on a pick-up in a couple days. You’re joining.” He added before leaving, not allowing Emily to reply.

              She shivered, looking into the mirror again. She looked desperate, her eyes wide in fear and anger. She gripped onto the sides of the sink, staring down the stranger in the mirror. The expression hardened, turning angry. That was more like it. More like a leader.

“Emily,” she subtly jumped, looking to the doorway. Laura was there, holding new clothes.

“Oh, thanks,” Emily walked over, grabbing the clothes. Laura picked up Emily’s old clothes and walked back to the doorway.

“Hurry up, I have to show you where your room is.” Emily dropped her towel, quickly sliding on a baggy tank top.

“You know,” Laura began as Emily continued getting dressed, “not to call you old, but Negan usually goes after barely legal girls. I’m surprised he’s taken interest in someone at least a bit near his age.”

“Oh, really?” Emily asked, buttoning up her jeans, “I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah,” Laura continued, “I guess you haven’t met his wives, then.”

“So, he really wasn’t kidding about the whole wife thing,” Emily laughed a bit, “he asked me before he brought me here. I thought it was a joke.”

“You gonna go for it?” Laura asked.

“I am a 30-year-old, unshaven woman that broke his nose and bit his arm,” Emily chuckled, “that is not happening.”

“Alright,” Laura mumbled with skepticism, “come on, I gotta show you your room.”

              The two of them were quiet as they walked through the halls of the sanctuary, passing many residents. Laura was a savior, so the regular civilians avoided eye contact while other saviors gave her nods and such. Emily kept her head held high and her movements confident, despite her slight limp, making eye contact with anyone she could. They looked away as they did to Laura.

“Here,” Laura walked up to one of the many doors lining the halls and opened it. “See you later.” She then left without waiting for a reaction.

              Emily stood in the doorway for a moment, lips slightly parted in awe. It was a small room, but it was the best thing she had seen in a while. It had only one twin-sized bed pushed into a corner with a bookcase, a nightstand, a dresser, and a small closet. A few books peppered the shelves and there were various newspapers, game boards and trinkets throughout the room. The comforter on the bed and the pillows actually looked comfortable.

              She slowly walked in, and then shut the door behind her. A feeling of comfort and relief washed over her as she stared at the homey room before her. It was hers, at least for now. It wasn’t very late, but she still walked straight to the bed, slowly laying on top of it. The mattress was the most comfortable thing she had felt in a while. She closed her eyes, relishing the feelings of comfort and cleanliness as she easily drifted off to sleep.

***

              Loud banging made Emily wake up instantly, desperately trying to locate her knife. She paused after a second, looking around. Oh right, she’s safe. She let out a sigh of relief.

“Hey, Emily, come on!” Laura’s voice called from the other side of the door.

“Yeah, just a sec!” Emily replied, her voice hoarse with sleepiness. She got out of bed, walking towards a mirror dresser to inspect herself.  She picked up a small brush on the corner of the dresser and ran it through her hair a few times before deciding she looked fine, then walked to the door.

“Hey,” Emily mumbled as she stepped outside, shutting the door behind her. When she looked up at Laura, she saw Dwight standing next to her. The two stared at each other silently for a moment before Laura spoke up.

“Oh, right. He…Anyways, they got cream of wheat for breakfast. Let’s go get some.” With that, the trio walked in silence to the mess hall.

              The mess hall was buzzing with life. A long line of people stretched around the large room to the kitchen area where people were serving out hot bowls of cream of wheat. Another, shorter line was serving cups of water and orange juice. Emily inhaled, the scents of the kitchen making her stomach growl. Emily looked around at the people. Most of them were a little dirty with torn clothes, but she saw a table full of clean men and women, most wearing leather. The Saviors. They laughed and joked while the rest of the mess hall held quiet conversation. She took silent note of the extreme difference in classes of the Sanctuary.

“Hey, where are we going?” Emily asked Laura as they passed the line of people.

“Saviors get cuts,” Dwight replied, his default stern expression tightening. Emily felt a bit guilty, but the feeling she got as she passed the line was something she didn’t get to feel often anymore; power.

              They took a seat at a long table filled with many loud Saviors. Dwight separated from Emily and Laura to sit at the end of the table, while Laura had a seat near the middle of the table waiting for her. Emily did too, apparently.

“New girl!” a tough looking man exclaimed, “Name’s Gary!” He held out his hand and Emily shook it before sitting down. She wasn’t in the mood to speak, but part of having status involves forming relationships with others.

“Yeah, nice to meet you,” she said with a smile, then looked around at the other Saviors who waved.

“Everyone says you’re a real badass,” a girl with black hair with bold blonde tips said. Her face was stern, almost unamused. “Wanna prove it later?”

“Hm, and how do you want me to do that?” Emily asked, giving a cocky smile.

“We have a separate fence where we hold some biters, we practice on ‘em. Why don’t you give it a go?”

“Sure thing,” Emily said calmly, and various people at the table made noises of praise and admiration. Emily’s grin grew.

“Attagirl!” Laura chuckled, giving Emily a smack on the back.

“We’re going out at noon. Someone will come and get you.” Gary said.

              It took a few more minutes for the table to mellow out and Emily began eating. The cream of wheat was still warm. It tasted like iron and had no other flavors, but the hot meal still felt like a luxury. She passively smiled at the Saviors’ conversations, but her eyes kept wandering to the casual civilians of the Sanctuary. Some of them looked happy, sure, but so many seemed timid and submissive. Emily could be ruthless and selfish, but she could still feel guilt. This wasn’t right.

***

              Emily returned to her room a little while after breakfast, not having anything assigned to her yet. She rummaged through all the things in her room and found that the dresser was full of clothes. She changed into a better fitting pair of jeans and a tank top. She then grabbed the brush she found that morning and did a better job brushing her hair, fighting the tangles that hid beneath the wavy thickness. Her thoughts were lost in analyzing the structure of the Sanctuary when there was a knock on the door. She quickly walked over to it and opened it. There stood Dwight.

“Emily, we’re going out to practice now, you still coming?”

“Of course,” she replied, “I’m ready to kick some dead ass.” Dwight was silent again as they walked. Emily looked down at her feet. Dwight was a respected, high-up kind of guy, she needed to be on good terms with him.

“Dwight,” she looked up at him, but he didn’t meet her gaze, “no hard feelings for what happened down in the cells. Negan put me in there, but you got me out. Are we good?”

“Yeah,” he finally looked at her, “yeah, sure. We’re good.” He ran his hand through his stringy hair. The rest of the walk was silent.

“You ready?” He asked as they approached a door leading outside. Emily could already hear the biters snarling and snapping.

“Yeah,” She mumbled as he opened the door. Her eyes quickly adjusted to the brightness and the sound of many biters flooded her ears. She looked around. There was a pen that held many aimless biters, with a gate that lead to where the Saviors were waiting.

“Dwighty boy!” An enthusiastic voice shouted. She looked and saw that it belonged to a man with a thick black mustache and a deeply receded hairline. His smile was huge, it could even be closely compared to Negan.

“That the fresh meat?” He asked, referring to Emily. He walked over and extended his hand out to her. She shook it gently.

“The name’s Simon. I’m Negan’s second-in-command, so you’ll be seeing a lot of me,” he beamed. Emily’s face lit up. Another higher-up that was speaking to her. He acted a lot like Negan.

“Emily. Nice to meet you,” she replied.

“Yes, yes, and you, my dear!” he paused, “well, who’s ready to kick some biter ass?” he exaggeratedly spun around with his arms up in the air, looking at the Saviors around him.  Several of them let out noises of agreement. Men began taking out their guns, and Simon quickly handed her one. Emily smiled to herself, seeing opportunity to show her potential.

“Hey, Simon?” She asked.

“Yes, sweetheart?” He asked, turning back around to look at her.

“Well,” she spoke louder so the rest could hear her, “why don’t we only use knives, machetes, anything except guns?” she paused, and smirked, “unless you think you can’t.”

Simon’s face twisted into a wicked, amused grin.

“I like the way you think, fresh meat. Alright everyone! No guns! Grab your knives, axes, hell, grab your forks! Let’s see how you fuckers do with something up close and personal. And to add to the fun…You shoot your gun, you’re out! You need to get some help, you’re out! Last man standing, other than me of course, gains my utmost respect!” He threw Emily a bowie knife that he stole from another Savior’s belt, knowing she didn’t have one.

Emily looked around. There were thirty saviors at most in the area. This would be a bit chaotic at first, but Emily could manage. She’d fought through small hoards by herself before.

“Open up! Keep track for me!” Simon called to a man that was standing on a ledge above the fence. The man nodded, then leaned down and opened the gate full of hungry biters. They came flooding through, shoving past one another. Emily had time to think, since she wasn’t that close to the fence. The saviors closest to the fence looked a bit startled, but managed to start getting kills in.

“Out, Larry!” the man keeping track shouted. “I saw Luke help you out!”

              Emily grinned as the biters finally started to get to her. More and more men were fighting, and about ten were already out, hurrying inside the building. She looked to Dwight, his stoic expression remaining intact and he readied himself for the approaching biters. Her focus switched to biters as they were finally close enough.

              A numbness washed over her as she began to take down all biters that approached her. It was instinct now for most of the people in this new world, but Emily had a bit more practice. Her alone time in between communities meant she had to take out many hoards by herself. She knew that most of Negan’s Saviors had probably been here awhile, unexposed to the elements. She continued fighting as more and more men entered the building in defeat.

“Nice slicing work, Emily!” Simon shouted from a few feet away from her as he stabbed a biter through the eye. She had just sweep kicked one of the dead, resting her foot on its chest as she knelt down to stab it through the ear before coming back up to take out another that was almost upon her. She took a moment to look around. About seven Saviors left, including Dwight but no longer Laura. She noticed a man fall, a biter on top of him. He was shouting “shit, shit” repeatedly as he tried to throw it off him. More biters were coming his way.

              Emily took out the biter near her and ran to the man, killing the one on top of him before taking out the three near him with quick movements of her knife. He stumbled before running inside, giving her a quick nod. Dwight and Simon were near her again, taking out their own biters and she focused on hers again. She was breaking a sweat, beads dripping down her face. Adrenaline was keeping her going, allowing her to barely feel the pain. The two other Saviors were out within the next minute, leaving the trio. The Savior manning the gate finally closed it, allowing the stream of the dead to eventually stop.

“Oh, god damn it!” Simon shouted as he focused on shoving two biters away from him. Emily was about to ask if he needed help, but he gave up and pulled out his gun, shooting the two.

“Good luck, you two!” Simon shouting before jogging away, climbing a ladder to keep watching.

              Emily and Dwight glanced at each other before continuing the fight. She could see from the corner of her eye that Dwight’s movements were slowing down from fatigue, and she knew she was slowing as well. Only about ten biters remained. Simon and a few others were cheering, excited by the intensity. She heard Dwight panting heavily.

“Hey, you good Dwight?” Emily asked as she kicked a lifeless biter to the ground.

“Don’t think I can last much longer,” he said in between pants, “I gotta go.” Emily simply nodded as Dwight pulled out his gun, killing the biter nearest to him before walking to the door in defeat. Emily had won.

“Hey, sweetheart, want some help with the rest?” Simon called.

“No, let me!” Emily shouted, new found excitement washing over her. It was the push she needed to take out the final six. She smiled as she ran towards the biters instead of letting them come to her. Her movements had some extra enthusiasm in them. As she slipped her blade from the final biter, she relished in the sound of it hitting the ground. Victory. Power.

“Well, I’ll be damned!” Negan’s voice shocked her, and she spun around to face him. He had come out the door people entered when they lost, and he was only a few feet from her. The few people in the area were kneeling. She hadn’t even noticed. She slowly took to one knee, cracking a big smile at him, panting.

“That was some fine fucking work!” Negan continued, beaming. He took a few more steps towards her, Emily craning her head to look up at him. Talk about déjà vu.

“Thank you,” she paused, “sir.” She may have taking a liking to this man’s Sanctuary, but she was still having trouble taking a liking to the man. Her excitement died down a bit, and her smile faded.

He extended his hand out, offering help getting up. She hesitated but decided to accept it. When she was up, his face was only inches from hers. The man really didn’t know what personal space was.

“Come up to my office at seven tonight. I want to discuss a few things over dinner with you.” He mumbled, and then walked towards Simon without waiting for her response. She looked back at him, confused for a moment.

“See ya, sweetheart!” Simon called. Emily smiled lightly and waved before walking back inside the building, listening to Negan trash talk Simon for losing to a five-foot-four girl.

***

“That girl really is something, huh?” Simon asked. Him and Negan were in the conference room. Negan was sitting up on the long table, spinning Lucille around in his hands.

“Damn straight. Fine as fuck too,” Negan replied, focusing on his bat.

“You got a little crush?” Simon asked, wiggling his eyebrows at his boss.

“She said no to being a wife, so I guess that fine piece of ass is out of the question. For now, at least,” He chuckled.

“Yeah, but anyways, what are we gonna do about the satellite outpost? Someone’s out for fucking blood, and the Kingdom and Hilltop are too pussy to pull something that insane.”

“We’re gonna find those sons of bitches, and they’re gonna be my new bitches. It’s a small world, and someone could’ve made it out alive. We won’t quit until they’re thoroughly scared shitless, Simon.”

“You’re gonna deliver a big ass fucking message,” Simon said, excitement in his eyes, “can’t wait, boss.”

***

 

              The rest of the day was rather lazy. She spent the afternoon with Laura, who couldn’t seem to stop ranting about how sucky she was during the training session. She convinced Emily to give her some melee weapon training. Emily met a few more of the Saviors who all seemed decent and lounged around with them for awhile before departing to return to her room. She hadn’t showered after the training, and she was sweaty and had biter blood on her. She was quick with her shower, but found herself using a floral, sweet smelling shampoo and even a spirt of perfume Laura had given her. Why was she trying to be decent for Negan?

              Arat, someone Emily had met but didn’t know particularly well, knocked on Emily’s door at around 6:40 to escort her to Negan’s floor. They chatted the whole way, and Emily noticed that Arat wasn’t so bitchy when you talked to her for a while.

Arat left once she dropped her off at Negan’s door, and Emily took in a nervous sigh. She knocked on the door.

“Come in,” Negan’s muffled voice called. She opened the door. It was a huge room, fashioned with moody and masculine colors and designs. It was simplistic, but still looked over the top for the apocalypse. Negan was sitting at a desk, surrounded by organized stacks of papers and journals. His leather jacket was off, and he was wearing glasses that gave him a scholarly look.

“There’s my favorite arm biter,” Negan grinned, removing his glasses and getting up from his desk. “Go sit over there on the couch, make yourself at home.” Emily quietly walked over to the couch, sitting down on the squishy leather. She always hated leather couches.

“Well, don’t you look nice this evening?” Negan asked, glancing at Emily before walking over to a mini bar situated in the corner of the room. Emily looked at her outfit. She was wearing skinny jeans with a baggy pocket tee, tied at the bottom to fit her better. She supposed it looked better than a dirty t-shirt and jeans.

“Not really,” Emily muttered, straightening out the shirt a bit.

“Want some?” Negan asked, holding up a bottle of Crown Royal.

“Sure, why not?” She replied. She felt rather awkward, and his casualness always made her confused. She couldn’t guess if he was happy or angry. He brought over two shot glasses and the bottle, setting them on the coffee table in front of them and sitting down in an arm chair on the other side. He poured the two glasses, sliding Emily’s across the table. The silence was putting her on edge.

“What’s this meeting about?” Emily asked.

“Just a second,” Negan replied, pulling out his walkie.

“Where the fuck is my dinner?” Negan said into it.

“Almost done, sir. It’ll be up to you in a few minutes.” A nervous voice said over the static.

“Sorry about that,” Negan mumbled, throwing down the walkie on the table. Emily noticed that his charisma wasn’t as strong. He seemed tired. Not to mention the bruising under his eyes from his nose. They had faded to an ugly yellow color. He probably was not pleased about his complexion being faltered like that. She took the moment to glance at his arm as well. He took the bandage off, and there were tiny red teeth marks surrounded by bruising.

“Listen, I’m still a little fucking pissed that you ran from me and beat me up a bit, but I’m extremely impressed by you. You’re obviously a good fighter, lots of stamina, and you have more will power than pretty much all of my men.” He grinned, “You’ve got this air about you, such pride and power.”

 _Spot on,_ Emily thought, and smiled.

“Does it take a lot to be impressed by you, Negan?”

“Not trying to feed that huge hidden ego inside of you, but yeah.” He replied. Emily chuckled, then downed the shot.

“Jeez, haven’t had a drink in a while,” Emily said, scrunching up her face a bit.

“You can get used to it, if you want to,” Negan chuckled, downing his and pouring more into their cups.

“Listen, darling, I’ve never done this before, but,” he paused, “once I see how you act for the run we’re going on tomorrow, I might consider making you a lieutenant.”

              Emily looked at the man in front of her. His face was serious. She wasn’t expecting this so soon. Perhaps her rough, seemingly tough start lead to him taking a liking to her. He was impressed by her and wanted her on his side and close to him. He even trusted her a bit. The Sanctuary was secure, and Emily would thrive here. Maybe it wasn’t a bad idea.

“Are you just gonna eye fuck me, or—” a knock at the door interrupted him.

“Come in,” he called with an irritated voice. A nervous-looking woman in a dirty apron rushed in with two trays of food, setting them down in a free space on the table.

“About damn time!” Negan said, then nodded at the woman to leave.

“Thank you, dear,” Emily said warmly as she hurried out. Her plate had pork, fresh green beans, and canned beans. Her mouth watered.

“You can dig in when you answer my question.” Negan said, clasping his hands together and resting his elbows on his spread knees. He stared at her intensely, yet his exhaustion showed through. He may be a controlling asshole, but Emily admired how attractive his sleepy eyes looked.

“It’s a lot of work, isn’t it? I think I can handle it,” Emily paused, swallowing her pride and her hatred for him, “it’d be an honor to work for you here.” She hoped her smile didn’t seem fake. She took a bite of the pork. It was amazing. She continued to eat as Negan spoke.

“Oh, would it be, now?” He asked, his ego exploding and grin widening, “and here I thought you hated my guts.”

 _Damn straight,_ Emily thought, then quickly swallowed the current bite.

“We got off to a rough start. I’ve been in shitty communities before, and I had to get a feel for the place. You have a secure community you’re running here.”

              Emily stood up, abandoning her meal and walking over to his side of the table. She reached out, touching his arm where she bit him, then sat on the arm of the chair to further inspect the damage she caused him. For once he was quiet as she lifted his arm, even a bit tense.

“I really did a number on you, didn’t I?” Emily asked with a chuckle, “I’ve only bitten a person once before. They had it way worse, though.”

“Oh, did they?” Negan asked, leaning back against the chair.

              He still seemed tense as Emily’s finger circled around the wound. Emily smirked to herself. He really did take a liking to her, didn’t he? Emily could use that to her advantage. To an extent, at least. She didn’t want to sleep with the man, but toying with his love for women could put her at a vantage point. She looked back at Negan. He let out a sigh, his eyes closed.

“You seem tired, should I go?” She asked, using her gentle, quiet voice.

“I was gonna call Frankie in here to give me one of her nice ass massages and a blowjob, but I wouldn’t mind you taking her place.” He said with a light chuckle.

“I don’t think so, boss man,” Emily chuckled back, “want me to get Frankie for you?” Emily strayed from the circle she was repeating to run her finger up his arm a little bit, then took her hand off him, getting up. She could’ve sworn she heard him let out a shaky sigh.

“You are a blessing, darling,” Negan grinned, still closing his eyes, “she’s in the parlor, the room next to this one.”

Emily walked to the door, but before she could open it, Negan had his usual final statement.

“Oh, by the way, please wear that perfume tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, please give feedback! I'd really appreciate it.


	5. Playground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily makes fast work climbing up the ladder of power. Negan is smarter than she thinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, another chapter, even though I just uploaded yesterday! It's still getting me a bit down that nobody has taken deep interest in this fic, but I am enjoying writing it.

              Emily woke up early for once. The analog clock on her nightstand read “6:45” in glowing red letters. She sat up in bed, rubbing her eyes and yawning. Laura told her that she had to be ready by 8:00, so she had plenty of time to lounge around. She stood up, walking over to her mirror dresser and pulling out a new pair of skinny jeans, a loose tank top, and a decent pair of bra and underwear. She grabbed a razor and hairbrush as well and carried it all down to the showers a floor below her.

              The shower water was a bit colder than most mornings, and it woke her up. She excitedly got out the razor. She hadn’t shaved in many, many months. Using shampoo as shaving cream, she lathered up her legs and began. She didn’t mind the body hair all that much, but she also loved the feeling of smoothness. It took a long time to shave her legs, then she quickly shaved her armpits before moving onto the tedious task of her pubes. She was quick with the rest of her shower, making sure to not waste too much water.

              She slipped on her clothes quickly, tying the bottom of her tank top to make it fit better. She then walked over to the mirror, grabbing her hairbrush and brushing out the tangles with care. She put her hair back in a ponytail with a thin braid running along the side, blending into the ponytail. It felt so amazing to have so much time, energy, and supplies to pamper herself a bit. She returned to her room feeling as light as air.

She spent an hour reading _To Kill a Mockingbird,_ the only decent book she could find on her barren shelves, before someone knocked on her door.

“Rise and shine, beautiful,” Laura’s voice called as she knocked.

“Coming!” Emily replied. She slipped on her boots, then found herself spraying on a small amount of perfume before walking out of her room.

“Damn, you look hot,” Laura said, grinning. She leaned in and gave Emily’s neck a whiff, “and my perfume smells awesome on you.”

“Really? Thanks, I guess,” Emily chuckled. The two of them walked down to the bottom floor, a few other Saviors joining them along the way.

              The front entrance of the Sanctuary was full of cars and huge trucks, ready for the road. A bunch of Saviors were chatting, some already sitting in truck beds with their guns, ready to go. She spotted Negan chatting with Simon and Arat, Lucille hung over his shoulder and his posture prideful. He waved goodbye to the two of them, then walked over to a group of men to chat.

“Come on, I usually take the back of that truck over there,” Laura pointed to one of the larger trucks, and they started walking that way.

“Emily!” Negan’s demanding voice shouted from about twenty feet away. She immediately snapped her head in his direction, seeing him beckoning her over with his finger.

“Good luck,” Laura said, patting Emily on the back before walking to the truck. Emily changed direction, walking over to Negan.

“You’re riding in my truck today, darling. I gotta see your performance today, remember? I want to see your sweet ass in action.” He grinned.

“Yeah, sure,” Emily replied.

“Alright, people! Load up!” Negan shouted. Everyone started moving to their designated vehicles, and Emily followed behind Negan to a red truck. It was the same truck Negan drove her to the Sanctuary in. He walked over to the passenger side, opening the door for her and gesturing inside. She stepped up into the truck and sat down. Once Negan was inside, she felt a sense of déjà vu again.

“You ready for your first ever trip to a community?” Negan asked, starting up the truck and following behind a few other cars.

“Sure, I guess. Don’t even know what we’re doing, though.” She replied, resting her elbow on the window and looking out as they left.

“Can’t believe no one’s explained that shit to you yet. Well, communities offer us a fraction of our supplies in exchange for our protection. Like I tried to do with you, remember?”

              Emily tensed. She remembered how angry and helpless she felt with him and his men and being forced into their little contract. She wondered how many communities were pulled into the same situation, forced to provide for the Sanctuary. Something felt familiar, but not because of her first meeting with Negan. She didn’t know why.

“Oh, yeah, that. Seemed unfair with just me, but I’m sure other communities don’t mind it.” _What a fat lie,_ Emily thought to herself, not wanting to look at him.

“Well, some are a bit shocked at first, but of course they don’t mind! It’s a pretty fair deal, if I do say so myself.” Negan beamed. Emily’s anger rose a bit, but she swallowed it down.

“Anyways,” Negan spoke after a moment, “You’re looking mighty fine again today.” He leaned over the console to her, keeping his eyes on the rode as he sniffed her. Emily almost recoiled.

“You put it on for me! I didn’t think you would!”

“Well, you asked me to,” Emily said, looking over at him and smiling. They locked eyes for a moment before he was forced to look at the road again.

“Anything else you’d do for me if I asked, baby?” A shiver spread over Emily’s arms, due to what she assumed was discomfort.

“I don’t know, boss man,” Emily smirked, but the expression immediately left her face as she looked out the window again. Flirting was proving to be difficult for her, due to not doing it in awhile and because she didn’t really want to flirt with him. She felt like a corporate’s assistant, forced to play into his flirting to keep her job.

“Well,” his voice was suddenly gravelly and deeper, “I really want to know what you’d say yes to.” Emily tensed, feeling an electricity run down her spine. He was good at this.

“You’ll only find out if you ask,” she stammered a bit, turning her head further away from him to hide a blush that spread across her cheeks. She was supposed to be the one playing the game, not him.

“Ah, is my badass blushing?” Negan asked, chuckling lightly. She looked at the rear-view mirror, seeing him staring at her through it. There was something devious in them.

“How far away is this community?” Emily asked, changing the subject and breaking eye contact.

“Probably about 30 more minutes away,” Negan said, still grinning in victory. She saw Negan pulling down one of his pant legs a bit from the corner of her eye, adjusting himself. She could’ve believe such simple chat gave him a hard-on. Maybe she really was the one with the advantage. He finally got quiet, though, and she was relieved to press her head against the window, feeling the sun on her face and watching the trees go by.

              About ten minutes passed before Emily started noticing that the surroundings were familiar. Dread starting to build in the pit of her stomach as she realized that she really did know where they were. Her last community was nearby.

“Negan, where is this community located?” Emily asked, swallowing down her anxiety.

“Some abandoned gym. Shit doesn’t even have a fence around it. We found ‘em a couple weeks ago, now I’m questioning whether they’re even worth it.”

_God fucking damnit._ Her last community. That’s why it felt familiar. She was going on a run with two others, and when she returned to the gym, everyone seemed scared. They said another community came by and were forcing them to give up some supplies. Emily didn’t care to listen to more at the time. She left that night, stealing more of their supplies to sustain herself.

“What is it? You seem scared,” Negan said, raising an eyebrow.

“Nothing, I’m not,” Emily mumbled, “just kinda feel bad for how shitty their community is.”

“Don’t feel bad! We’re here now for them, aren’t we? We saved them!”

_Saved them,_ Emily thought, wanting to scoff. His ethics seemed rather twisted. She had more important things to worry about, though. There’s no way she could go unnoticed to Chuck, the man that lead the community. Or Sam, Riley, and Thomas, the people she considered friends at the community. They trusted her, and Chuck trusted her enough to make her second-in-command. They were worried sick about her, she was sure. They probably thought that the Saviors did something to her.

              As they were just a few minutes away, Emily focused on holding back her anxiety. She couldn’t take this back. She had to pull through with this. Negan’s community was bigger and better, it was a powerhouse. She couldn’t afford to lose Negan’s trust to her past. She would do whatever it took to prove she was a worthy lieutenant.

“You ready?” Negan asked as they pulled into the large parking lot. She saw Chuck and Thomas standing outside, waiting with boxes lined up next to them. The others were probably inside, wanting to avoid the Saviors.

“I think you’ll definitely trust me enough to be a lieutenant after this, Negan.” He looked confused but didn’t question it. They stepped outside, Emily walking towards the manifestations of her betrayal and cowardliness.

“Hello everybody!” Negan shouted with enthusiasm, waving around Lucille. “Ah, I see you got my shit all nice and ready for me! Looks like you guys got this all figured out!”

Chuck stared into Emily’s eyes with horror, making the old man look even more aged and fragile. She looked to Thomas. Shock and disgust. She kept her expression firm, mean and cold.

“What? It looks like you guys have seen a god damn ghost?” Negan asked, then slowly turned to Emily. He caught on quickly. The other Saviors were staring at Emily, too.

“What is this?” Negan asked her, looking at her with an almost angry expression.

“Emily?” A weak voice called. She looked to the entrance to the gym, where Sam stood. He looked almost petrified but managed to take a few steps outside. Riley was close behind him. _Shit._

“You know these people, Emily?” Negan asked. She didn’t take her eyes off Sam, not knowing what to say. She was close to him, the closest friend she had in a long time.

“You fucking back stabbing bitch!” Thomas yelled. He always had a temper to him.

“Emily? Emily, what are you doing?” Chuck asked, his aged voice more hoarse than usual. She couldn’t stand it. She felt overwhelmed.

“I’m not Emily!” She roared, glaring at all her former friends. She paused, taking a deep breath to calm down a bit. Negan was watching, still confused and silent. The other Saviors were too.

“I’m Negan,” she hissed, swallowing any emotions she had for them.

              A tear ran down Riley’s cheek. She looked to Thomas, his hand shaky with rage. It was near his belt, where his gun was. He finally acted, reaching for it. Emily was much faster, drawing her gun before anyone else could react. It went off before Emily even knew what she was doing. Thomas slumped to the ground, blood pooling around the bullet wound in his head.

              Riley screamed, running to him. Chuck stared down at him with wide eyes, blood splattered onto his cheek. Sam just stared at Emily. The hurt in his eyes was too much to bear, so Emily quickly looked away, to Negan. She was breathing heavily, calming herself down. A wide smile spread across his face.

“Well, holy shit! If that isn’t the most god damn loyal thing I’ve ever seen from any of my people!” He was ecstatic, clearly excited by the whole act.

“Sucks for you guys, though.” He added, looking to Chuck with a big grin.

“I may be very satisfied with my people, but _your_ people?” his smile faded, “Your people are irresponsible and impulsive. Getting Mr. Tough Guy’s brains blown out was a pretty good punishment, I think, but you people need a little bit more discipline. I’m taking all your guns,” he paused, reading the horrified expressions of the people.

“Don’t worry, you get to keep any melee weapons. And, since we are so reasonable, we’ll be giving you some of our knives and shit.” He smiled again. “You’re welcome!” he shouted when he got no reply.

“Alright, go ahead!” He shouted to the Saviors, and they all walked forward, entering the building. Emily began to walk forward, but Negan stopped her.

“Emily, get your fine ass over here!” She turned to walk toward him. He had a huge, cocky grin on his face.

“Jesus Christ, you really are a fucking badass!” He beamed when she got close enough to him.

“I told you so,” She said, her face void of emotion. She was still a bit shocked.

“Told me what?”

“That you’d definitely trust me.” She cracked a small smile, all that she could manage.

“Hell fucking yeah I can! But,” his smile faded a bit, “why didn’t you tell me?”

Emily thought for a moment, thinking of a quick excuse.

“Maybe I wanted to surprise you,” she said, stepping closer to him.

“You are full of surprises, sweetheart.” His grin instantly returned, easily buying into her flirting.

“Go wait in my truck. Don’t want anyone else trying to assassinate you, do we?” He gave her a little pat on the back.

“You got it, boss man,” Emily smiled and nodded, turning around and walking back to the truck.

              Emily sat alone, her head in her hands. She pressed into her eyes until she saw stars, trying to hold back her tears. She tried her best to repress memories of all her time spent with Thomas, all the runs she went on with him and everyone else. She was at the gym for several months, and it was enough time to build bonds. She finally removed her hands, pulling down the passenger mirror with force to look at herself. Her vision was blurry, tears in her eyes. She blinks a few times and wiped away the tears with anger. When she looked at herself again, she saw someone stone cold and unapologetic. Much better.

              It took a little while before the Saviors started returning, packing up the trucks with boxes of supplies and the guns that they stole. Emily watched Negan talk to Chuck. The poor old man was shaking, weak in the knees, and nodding profusely. Message delivered. Negan walked back to the truck, smiling wide with Lucille proudly displayed on his shoulder.

“You all good in here?” He asked as he stepped inside, carefully placing Lucille in the backseat. All the cars started up, and they pulled out.

“Yeah,” she replied, watching the gym disappear in the rear-view mirror.

“I’m guessing that definitely wasn’t the first fucking time you’ve killed someone, huh?”

“Haven’t we all?” She replied, elbow resting on the window and head in her palm again.

“How many?” He asked.

“I don’t really know,” she mumbled, “maybe 30? Too much tension between all these communities.”

“Damn, you said that with no expression! Do you even care?” He asked, laughing.

“Do you care about the people you’ve killed, Negan?” she looked over at him, reading his face as he answered.

“Of course I fucking do! The people I take out are to prove points, send messages. They are sacrificed to keep people alive, to save them.” Emily stared deeply into his profile, analyzing. He was either the best actor she’s ever seen, or he truly believed he was doing good. It was most likely the ladder. The man had convinced himself that he was only doing good.

“I care too, Negan,” she whispered, then found her voice again, “I kill to protect others, or myself if it’s necessary.” She closed her eyes, collecting herself, “I like your ethics, Negan. What you’ve got going on here is amazing.”

“I agree,” he said, satisfaction in his tone, “we are the future, Emily. And I want you to be a big part of this future. Still up for being a lieutenant?”

“Yeah, of course, sir,” she said, smiling at him. He looked over at her, his brown eyes searching hers, his smile lighter. She looked away faster than she probably should’ve, her smile fading as she went back to her spot looking out the window.

“We’ll discuss the details over dinner, sound good?”

“Sounds perfect, boss man,” she replied, closing her eyes.

***

              Negan looked over at Emily, who had fallen asleep with her head against the window. She looked peaceful, more peaceful than he had ever seen her before. The sun was shining onto her face, flickering due to the shadows of the trees. He forced himself to look away, needing to focus on the road. He really had the hots for her, and it was killing him, especially after what she had done at the gym. She was a hot, ruthless badass, and he wanted her. A tough, mature woman would be a nice change compared to his fragile, unexperienced wives. He appreciated his wives, but he wouldn’t mind switching it up. He let out a frustrated sigh as they pulled up to the Sanctuary. He stared at her for a moment before reaching over, grabbing her arm below where he had bruised her.

“Rise and shine, sunshine,” he whispered, shaking her lightly. She stirred and let out a tired moan before opening her eyes and looking over at him. _Damn, she’s gonna kill me,_ he thought to himself and he stared into her tired eyes.

“You fell asleep. Go get yourself cleaned up, darling.” She nodded, rubbing her eyes before exiting the car.

***

              Emily sat on her bed, running her hand through her hair. She had taken it down, because the feeling of her exposed neck felt like too much for her in her depressed state. She had rejected hanging out with anyone and said that she wanted a nap. She was still a bit shocked from her actions, but what else could she have done? He was going to kill her. _You could’ve shot him anywhere else other than through the head. You could’ve dodged the bullet and let someone else deal with him. You could’ve not been a stupid coward for once and supported your community._

“Shut up!” Emily said a bit loudly to herself, digging her palms into her eyes again. She felt ridiculous when she had to tell her own thoughts to stop, but it happened sometimes. She calmed her breathing. She had to do it, there was no other choice in that moment. Anyone else would’ve done it. It was reasonable to run than be stuck in some unfair contract.

              She looked up from her palms, rubbing away the blurriness. Her emotions were pushed back, and she started to feel better. She was safe, in good hands, and she was doing a phenomenal job in this community. It was for the best. Sighing, she stood up and changed into a different tank top, keeping her jeans on. She had an important meeting to get ready for.

***

Emily was allowed to walk up to Negan’s floor by herself, now. She almost forgot the way, but she figured it out. Once she reached the door to his office, she paused before knocking.

“Come in,” he called. She opened the door, finding him in the same place he was last time. He had more paperwork than she had imagined. He took off his glasses, walking over to the couch and flopping down on it comfortably. He looked back at her, patting the cushion next to him with a smile.

“Dinner’s already here, have a seat.” She walked over, sitting down with caution. It was weird, having him sit next to her this time. His arms were splayed over the top of the couch, and she was hyper aware of his arm near her back. On the table was the same meal as the night before, steam still rising from it.

“I talked to my other lieutenants earlier about you. They were a little surprised, but they’re on board,” he grinned, “starting tomorrow, you’re on the team.”

“You act different when you’re not around others.” Emily didn’t know why it slipped from her mouth, but it did. She stared at Negan, with his tired eyes and white t-shirt. A few strands of hair were messed up from his usual slicked-back style. In that moment, he didn’t look so shitty. He seemed normal.

“What?” He asked, confused. His smile faded as he waited for an explanation.

Emily smiled. “You cuss less, you’re quieter, you don’t care as much about your appearance. You don’t seem so rough and tough at the end of the day.” His eyes bored into hers as he analyzed what she said. He didn’t seem angry, just confused by the sudden comment.

“Well, uh,” he said, regaining his composure, “gotta be loud and mean for all my people, you know? And, during our little meetings, you catch me when I’m tired and can only think about being balls deep in one of my girls.”

              Emily chuckled. _He’s trying way too hard._ She leaned over, picking up her fork and taking a bite of the pork. It tasted just as good as the night before. The warm food made her feel a bit tired after the mentally exhausting day she had. Negan followed her lead, taking a few bites of his food. He was pretty quiet.

“Emily,” Negan said, his voice sounding a bit serious. She finished chewing and leaned back into the couch, looking at him and waiting for a reply.

“Why did you leave the gym?” She immediately broke eye contact, searching her mind for an answer. Why didn’t she think of an excuse sooner?

“The community was too weak, too new. It wasn’t well established, you know? Chuck and all them were nice, sure, but they weren’t well prepared for anything. I wasn’t gonna risk that.” She leaned over her plate again, shoveling food in her mouth to avoid him.

“Ah, alright,” Negan said, then stared at her for a long moment. “Really sucky coincidence today, huh? As bad ass as it was, I’m still sorry it lead to that. Were you friends with him?” Emily rested her elbow against her knee, her chin in her palm.

“He was unstable,” Emily stared off into the distance, “but, yeah, I guess you could say we were friends.”

“He seemed real pissed, didn’t he?”

              Emily’s eyes widened as she realized what Negan was doing. He was trying to find something wrong with her, make her slip up and say something stupid. Or tell more of the truth. He brought up Thomas to stir up emotion before asking more important questions. She let out a quiet sigh and leaned back against the couch again, the back of her head pressing against Negan’s arm. She looked directly into his eyes. _You won’t crack me open that easy, asshole._

“No offense, but they hate you. I’d be pretty pissed too if my friend showed up in a community that I hated,” she decided to tell some truth, “and I didn’t really say goodbye. I just left.” Negan stared at her for a moment before chuckling.

“Damn, didn’t even say bye to your good ol’ pals? You really are ruthless. That’s what I need in a lieutenant.” Emily smiled at him in response. She won the game. His smile faded again, and he stared at her as if he wanted to speak. He was being way too serious tonight.

“What? You look like you wanna say something.”

“Yeah,” Negan hesitated, “I got something for you.” He reached into his back pocket, digging around for a minute before pulling something out. He extended his palm to show her.

_Her ring._

“Negan,” she stared at it, her eyes widening. A genuine smile tugged at the corners of her mouth, “I can have it back?”

“I think you’ve earned it.” He said, giving her a smile that wasn’t so cocky.

              He grabbed her hand, Emily letting him as she still processed what was happening. She looked up at him, finding him already looking at her as he slipped the ring onto her finger. He looked genuine. Her heart suddenly ached, bringing her back to reality. She gently tugged her hand away, examining it before lightly clenching her fist, feeling the metal press against her palm. She held back happy tears as she got lost in the sparkling diamond. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt so happy.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone look so god damn happy. Didn’t know you could turn into such a pussy so fast.” Negan laughed, turning away from her again.

Emily found herself wrapping an arm around him, her face pressed into his shoulder.

“Thank you,” she whispered, “so much.” He was tense for a minute, but Emily felt his arm leave the top of the couch and wrap around her shoulder. She got lost in the smell of cologne and aftershave for a moment before pulling away, her hand resting on his stomach as she looked up at him. His lips were slightly parted, something devious in his eyes as he looked down at her.

_What the hell are you doing? Get your shit back together,_ Emily thought, finally snapping out of her happy trance. _You’re happy to have your ring, not because Negan gave it to you._ She regained control of herself again, remembering the game. Negan was staring at her with such desire, and she could definitely play on that. He wanted her, and she knew it. She let the hand on his stomach slowly slide down, rubbing over his thigh before grabbing his knee.

“Really, thank you.” She said, acting innocent as she gave his knee a pat before pulling away. Negan slowly removed his arm from around her. She could see him subtly chewing on the inside of his lip.

“No problem, baby.” He didn’t bother hiding the huskiness in his voice. She could see him trying to keep his composure in his light breathing and his slightly tense posture. Play time was over, it went a bit too far.

“You seem tired, and probably still have a few more things you need to wrap up. See you around, yeah?” She gave him a smile before getting up, not waiting for a reply. Her legs felt like jelly as she walked towards the door, and her breathing was shaky.

“Yeah,” Emily watched him run his hands through his hair, “see you around, sweetheart.”

She slowly shut the door, wondering what the hell was going through her mind.

***

              Negan stared at the floor, wide-eyed, rubbing his temples. His dick was still hard as a rock in his jeans as he tried to focus on making all his thoughts disappear. He thought of Emily’s hand running down his thigh again, and it made any progress disappear. He had been doing this for the last ten minutes. He thought for sure she was about to make a move on him, and then she just up and left. It didn’t make sense.

His eyebrows furrowed together, and he finally stopped thinking with his dick.

_She’s playing me like a god damn fiddle, and it’s fucking working. That sly, hot piece of ass._

He didn’t know what her end game was. He had no idea why she was doing this to him. He wanted her to be a lieutenant the second her teeth dug into his arm, and she wasn’t trying to charm him then. Maybe she thought that was what made her a lieutenant. She was wrong, though, and now she was found out, too. Negan smiled.

_His turn to play the game._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think. I'm not sure if this fic is any good, or if it's turning in wrong directions.


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